it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
