smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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