you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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