is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
