I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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