I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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