Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
