How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
