you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
