i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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