So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
we're so committed to being not committed
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
