She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
