Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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