new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
