school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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