who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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