Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize