you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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