i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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