I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
