This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
