Kiss
Puke
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
