Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
