I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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