Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Randomize
