BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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