Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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