life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
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Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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