So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
