No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
