No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
how can u be prego again
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
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