last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
