We're like a lot better than the average bears
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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