How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We talked him into tasing himself.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
