maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
