omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
