I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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