I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
