Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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