Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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