broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
this will be a night to untag.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
