I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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