i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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