If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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