She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
