That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
