I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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