I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How does it feel to date your dad?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
