and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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