Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
