I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
