We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
