There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
