Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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