when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
