you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
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