The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
