i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
