Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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