ADVERTISEMENT

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i cant lie to you.

  Fav 56 1118 3302

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.

  Fav 10 6332 1612

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (469): View more from Texas

  I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!

  Fav 46 1609 26644

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.

  Fav 26 6424 1396

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.

  Fav 8 3450 1113

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.

  Fav 4 3110 922

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Did he at least offer you guys chips?

  Fav 4 2362 859

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.

  Fav 1 1120 660

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.

  Fav 3 858 558

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (434): View more from Virginia

  Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know

  Fav 2 649 1133

  share tweet
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that

  Fav 0 213 163

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (719): View more from Colorado

  I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!

  Fav 0 34 18

  share tweet
  

• (323): View more from California

  Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.

  Fav 0 9 17

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  That’s not true...is it?

  Fav 0 34 9

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag

  Fav 0 56 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize