did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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