Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
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The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
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I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions