Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool

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  (717): i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool http://tfl.nu/o66k
  Replies (2) Good night (731) Bad night (794)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.

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  (203): Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states. http://tfl.nu/jgy9
  Replies (40) Good night (916) Bad night (2697)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number

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  (512): Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not! (1-512): well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number http://tfl.nu/3fc4
  Replies (21) Good night (678) Bad night (3181)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.

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  (229): It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing. http://tfl.nu/o6in
  Replies (47) Good night (746) Bad night (5395)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever

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  (910): phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever http://tfl.nu/0zmb
  Replies (19) Good night (5976) Bad night (559)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.

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  (773): I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out. http://tfl.nu/l8yc
  Replies (20) Good night (4643) Bad night (970)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?

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  (404): he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again? http://tfl.nu/cny9
  Replies (13) Good night (841) Bad night (5546)
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  (562): View more from California

  I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.

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  (562): I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here. http://tfl.nu/jxmt
  Replies (22) Good night (3499) Bad night (1109)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley

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  (917): i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley http://tfl.nu/xm6d
  Replies (8) Good night (1157) Bad night (3273)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"

  (845): View more from New York

  where do u find these people!?

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  (845): he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life" (845): where do u find these people!? http://tfl.nu/mb20
  Replies (8) Good night (2688) Bad night (828)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?

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  (902): Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions? http://tfl.nu/r2b3
  Replies (6) Good night (1960) Bad night (1350)
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  (805): View more from California

  Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.

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  (805): Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother. http://tfl.nu/ewkc
  Replies (4) Good night (1012) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.

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  (270): Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man. http://tfl.nu/achk
  Replies (9) Good night (2070) Bad night (312)
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  (805): View more from California

  Are you feeling okay?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.

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  (805): Are you feeling okay? (1-805): Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/wneq
  Replies (0) Good night (257) Bad night (388)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing

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  (702): We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing http://tfl.nu/3hel
  Replies (0) Good night (336) Bad night (185)

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