so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
