I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Randomize
