i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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