i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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