you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
