Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
