I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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