She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
